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Which French Stereotype Are You?

As we all know, there is nothing more reliable, instructive and constructive than a boldly-exaggerated stereotype. For this reason, we here at Leapfrog Properties choose to encourage those who are considering a move to France to make a scientifically-based evaluation of their personality so they may adopt the mannerisms and dress of the most suitable French stereotype immediately upon their arrival, thereby ensuring that they are granted the warmest of welcomes.

To find out which stereotype will suit you best, simply answer the questions below as honestly as you can, then click the submission button at the bottom of the page.


An army comes thundering over the hill toward you. What do you do?
Insist they let me paint them.
Get on my bike and ride like the wind.
Surrender!
Make beautiful love to them until they surrender to me.
Pelt them with the remains of my collapsed souffle.
Refuse to even speak to them until they do something about those awful uniforms.
Taunt them with my outrageous accent.

You are one of three survivors stranded in a lifeboat with no food. Only two people are required to row. What do you do?
Leap overboard.
Immediately sketch the other survivors, taking care to convey the tension with many angry and harsh lines befor... *ack*
Demand to be moved to more satisfactory quarters.
Kill the weakest survivor and eat them.
Kill the most tender and juicy survivor and saute them in garlic butter before eating them.
Convince the two other survivors to fight to the death over who gets to make beautiful love to me
I fail to see the problem, for I am wearing a week's supply of onions around my neck.

In your last failed romance, what was the cause of the break-up?
I met someone else.
They met someone else.
They would not pose for me.
They would not change for me.
I would not change for them.
I would not shave for them.
It matters not! Love is but a fleeting fancy and cannot compete with the glory of battle!

What best describes your pose when someone is talking to you?
My hands are clasped in front of me.
My hands are clasped behind me.
My hands are on my hips.
One hand is on my hip.
One hand is on my weapon.
My arms are folded.
My legs are open.

At night, how do you sleep?
Alone.
Rarely.
Rarely alone.
Alone with my nightmares.
With both eyes closed.
With one eye open.
I refuse to answer such an absurd question.

When you sleep, you most often dream that you are:
Flying.
Riding.
Walking.
Running.
Searching.
Fighting.
Loving.
No, I shall not answer. This is even more absurd, and it is not even a question!

You are walking alone in a forest. What do you seek?
The beauty of light.
The cover of darkness.
Some privacy.
The enemy.
Truffles.
Customers.
But... but... this is meaningless! I really must ask you to leave.

If you had to choose a super-power, what would it be?
Invisibility.
Super strength.
Super speed.
Super vision.
Super stamina.
The power to replicate myself.
I don't care if it is your web page. You are lowering the tone of this internet and I insist that you leave immediately. And do not come back!